| well.. i'm on medical leave at the moment..
as of right now, there's not a very
good chance that i'll be returning.. each day it seems like i'm getting
worse and worse and there's nothing more that i can do to stop it..
if you wouldn't mind praying for
me, it would sure be appreicated.. this is something i've been dealing
with for almost four years and its catching up to me now that the tours
over (good timing, eh?)
anyhow.. other than my health depleting, life is going grand =)
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| Phone got stolen in Detroit! Please leave your number or call me with your number.. thanks!
And.. read the previous entry.. yeah
<3
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| Well friends..
the much anticipated update.. here it is.. and it's pretty much the same thing on myspace as well, just FYI..
As
the majority of you might know (some may know more than others), I
pretty much hated life from last July up until the last few months. I
guess it was more of a gradual process really that kind of led up to me
not hating everything and everyone.. but you know. I guess what I'm
trying to say is that, over the course of the last couple of months in
particular I have realized many things. Many good, many bad, and many
that I'm frankly not sure of. But things have changed.. I believe that
my heart is getting back into the right place that it should be. I'm
learning more and more about why I'm here on the Ministry Team and the
reasons that the Lord has me where I am (although I still hate it a
good portion of the time, it doesn't cross my mind nearly as much).
I'm not at the point anymore where I want to find the nearest bus
station or airport at bus stops and just pack up everything and leave.
I'm content.. but yet wanting more..
Let me explain more..
In
February, I took a couple of really random trips to Tennessee, both
times not really sure of what exactly I was doing, but knowing that I
had to get off campus and away from everyone and everything. The first
time I ended up staying with this amazing married couple and the lady's
grandma, who happened to be an author. Sweetest little old woman I've
met in the longest time.. and she gave me a book when I was leaving..
and I read it.. and it completely changed my outlook on everything.. I
realized I was being a complete fool and that I was taking advantage of
everything that the Lord had given me. This, of course, was over time
as well. The second trip to Tennessee was quite a bit different, but
yet equally incredible. The Lord revealed so much to me on my way
there through this song by Disciple (off of one of the random CD's
given to me..) called 'Worth It All'. Pretty much I broke down in my
car and truly remembered on my own what I was doing and what I was
doing it for, as opposed to being sat down and spoken to as if I were
an illeterate child (which is sometimes what it feels like..) And then
on the way back to Texas.. I realized something even more
thought-provoking: the reason that I was so miserable is because I had
lost sight of my first real committment: my relationship with the
Lord. And that's kind of when everything started to change I think.
Bitterness slowly faded away, resentment began to decrease, and I
gradually began caring less and less about stupid meaningless crap. It
was amazing.
And
now.. these last I don't even know how many events.. since
Minneapolis.. the Lord has just been showing me so much.. and it's
incredible.
A lot of people have been asking about next year
and stuff.. In regards to next year, there is a lot that has been
taking place, specifically in the last month and a half.. There are a
lot of options and a lot of things that could happen.. right now I'm
just seeking and trusting in the Lord that He's directing me where He
needs me the most..
As
of right now, there's about a 85% chance that I'm moving to Nashville
after I graduate in August. It's something that I've been praying
about since the New Mexico event back in November or whenever it was
and the Lord has been confirming things left and right that Nashville
is the place to be after I'm done. Seriously, if I could only begin to
list the things that He's been showing me.. it's incredible.. but I'm
completely trusting in the Lord. I never in a million years would have
even considered moving away from home at 20, but I just have such a
strong sense that if I were to come home, I would lose sight of
everything that the Lord has called me to do and become complacent and
fall back into the same old life. I don't want that for my life and I
know that the Lord has called me to so much greater. I'm not sure
exactly what all it entails, but I know that it's going to be amazing
and it's going to take a huge step of faith, whatever happens. I'm
blessed to have a lot of people giving me wise counsel and
encouragement as I'm kind of unsure how to do this whole thing. You
know.
I know that this has been rediculously long and I thank
you for taking the time to read everything (or to just get to the
bottom and skim it.. whatever). I would just ask for your prayer and
blessing as we wrap up the last 6 events of the spring tour and embark
on new journeys. And go back to campus, of course.. but that's another
story.. yeah..
Anyhow, look forward to more
updates in the future for sure.. I'm planning a trip to Nashville in
late May to look at a few things, so I'll probably give an update after
that. Yup. And I truly am sorry about not updating on here
more often.. it's hard upkeeping two different sites on the road and
the majority of the people that I keep in touch with are on myspace..
yeah.. but anyhow =)
Later!
<3Erin Marie |
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| hey guys..
long, elaborated update coming soon.. i promise..
<3 |
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| Started the spring tour...
Up in Minneapolis...
...Rather chilly Um.. yep Realizing a lot right now. Things suck, but they're going to be okay. Eventually. And an update on my friend's mom, she's still not doing the greatest. And I miss my friends. A lot.
Three months. And then no more pain.. no more waiting.. Six months.. freedom..
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